I recently listened to a podcast The American Mashup which featured Lee Min Jee, the author of Pachinko. If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie, I recommend it! In the podcast, the hosts ask Min Jee who does she write for. She mentioned her other writer friends who say that they write for themselves. She jokingly commented when you write for yourself, you are writing a diary.
She then goes on to explain that when she writes, she writes for her readers. She made a good point about how time is precious now and if a reader reads her book, they are giving her 20 hours of their time. She wants to make it worthwhile of their time.
Her perspective made me think of my own writing and who do I write for? What is the end goal in my writing? Why do I even write and publish on Substack if I am not earning money from it or reaching a massive audience? Why am I dedicated to my writing when there isn’t any concrete evidence of future success? It made me wonder why am I publishing on Substack instead of just keeping to my secret journal like I have been doing for years?
My chat with the Universe went something like this:
Universe: We need you to keep publishing your writing.
Me: Why? I lost my one paid subscriber (times are tough, I get it. I totally understand, no hard feelings and I only have deep love and appreciation for my one paid subscriber!) and I haven’t gained much of a following.
Universe: What would it take for you to feel rewarded?
Me: Just knowing that my writing made a difference to one person. It only takes one person because we are all connected.
Universe: Silence
There is sense of confirmation if my writing made a difference to one person. I don’t write for approval, validation, or even monetary gains. I share my story so that one person can know that they have a choice. There is another possibility in the world.
I have an Instagram account that I’ve been posting to for decades now and it only has 400+ followers. I used to daydream about attaining millions of followers and what would that kind of external validation feel like. I’m sure it would feel nice but lately my perspective has changed. Or maybe I don’t need the external validation anymore?
When I think about my account now, these things come to mind:
Looking at my IG grid makes me happy. My pictures and reels make me happy!
I have at least 100 people who actively watch my reels, stories, and engage in my social media.
I have at least 40 people who think about me often (they have told me this in person over the course of my life) and actively seek out my media and are quietly rooting for me.
I have at least 5 people who will search all the social media platforms to find me and like my posts. No, they are not exes or stalkers.
At least 5 people have been following me since 2013, that’s over ten years! We are in the non-committal relationship era, so that’s a serious commitment from a follower. I wish I could hug them right now!
When I think about how much time, effort, and thought goes into someone thinking about you and wondering how you’re doing and then actively liking your media. To me that’s a form of love. There are so many things that are trying to get our attention, there are so many forms of distraction out there that if you’re in my space, I am grateful. It feels like you’re saying to me, “I’m still here.”
Just like now, you don’t have to be here. You don’t have to read this until the very end. You can disengage after 10 seconds. There’s always something shinier and fantastic in the next second of our lives.
When I think of my art in this way, the millions of followers aren’t as important anymore. What really matters is that one person who came to see what I created today. Or that one person who wonders where I’ve been when I haven’t posted in a minute.
So dear reader, I write for you. Even if that “you” means one person, I’m still here.
Disclaimer: A year ago, I would spend a week editing and editing and editing and editing before publishing. Isn’t that what we do as writers??? In the AI era, are writers still editing? I’ve decided to do less editing and polishing to keep my human charms as much as possible. I apologize in advance for typos, misused adjectives, and run on sentences, at least you’re not reading an AI generated Substack post.